First breakdown :'(

24+6 weeks

Yesterday at 24 +6 weeks I had my first meltdown. I've been sick since Monday (7 days ago) and I was looking forward to getting better so AJ could feel better.
Yesterday I woke up to a bad throat and congested nose, and I started berating myself. I felt horrible; like the worst mother on planet Earth.
Is it because I didn't rest enough in the week? Is it because I was pushing myself too much? I was given an extra day off by my manager but instead, I went back to work.
I felt an immense amount of guilt towards little sweetie, and for the first time in almost 25 weeks, I broke down into tears.

I was lying in bed, my back towards John. I tried to stifle my sobs so he wouldnt notice I was crying - but the more i tried the worst it got. He noticed something was wrong when i got all quiet and didnt answer his questions. He got up and gave me the biggest hug and reassurance and i immediately felt better. Whether my breakdown was hormonal or otherwise, I've also come to realize that having a supportive and loving partner by your side on the same life journey as you is a true blessing. And last night as we lay in bed, falling asleep, he turned around and told me how blessed he was to have me in his life. And for that, I cannot be any more grateful. It means at least I'm doing something right in this relationship.

Today I strive to fully recover from this bugging illness, whatever it may be. Eating healthy, sleeping right and staying positive. I want to conquer the world for our little boy.